I missed yesterday!

I missed yesterday! I didn't avoid writing a post, I just got caught up! Anyway, the job search is still going at full steam. I've been lowering my standards every minute. I'm currently willing to deliver packages and sweep up popcorn in dirty movie theaters. Tomorrow might be picking strawberry with no shade. (i'm only kidding, those guys who harvest our crops should be paid much more than they are being paid right now. They feed us.) The song writing has been a bit easier lately but I still dont have a single complete piece or even a significant part of a piece. I wonder if this will come easier as time goes on?

I got an e-mail from a really good friend of mine who is currently finishing up his last two months of teaching english in China. I'm really excited for him to come back. Tom and I spent a lot of time together while we were studying in Paris ad we've bonded over the fact that we are both hopless romantics with self destructive attitudes. I think we both hope one day that every will become clear after a multitude of outrages incidents that would involve love, hate, sadness, euphoria, a little blood shed, and a climactic ending. ( I feel i'm on my way as love has found me, hiding in hole. It coaxed me out with beautiful eyes and a brain so intimidating, I couldn't help but admire) Tom and I shall have endless amounts of coffee dates as we discuss our unknown futures an the adventures that await us.

Fuck it day

Today is what I like to call a "fuck it" day. Kaela and I both woke up to find our heads cloudy, our noses plugged and our minds still trying to find a place to settle between doing jumping jacks and going back to sleep. In other words, today was the day of the bed ridden loners, content to lie back and watch TV and take naps. I only go out of bed for food (most of which was simple or delivered). It pains me to think that I can't do this every day. I mean, I have to find a job yet this simple task has been taking me months.

My sister sent me a package today containing two bottles of VeeV and a little porcelain travelers mug. And guess what, the mug was filled with mint candies... a move I thought would be too cheesey for my sister to pull. I am pleasantly surprised by this bold move of domestication by my sibling. I was recently thinking about the domestication of loved ones, people settling down with their significant other, signing off on a mortgage and working for the next promotion. It was eye opening... not that I don't think their decisions are the wrong ones, I just don't see myself at that point at my age. I recently go denied entry into the Seattle University Masters in Teaching program which I now see as a pretty good thing. The reason why I applied to the school was really just to see what would happen. I wanted to do something and follow through it to the end. I did that; weather or not they accepted me had no impact on my goal in the first place. If I did get in, it would be amazing but I doubt that I would have even accepted their invitation. I'm glad I went through the process and had come out the other side unscathed. I think it really opened me up to new possibilities and a new view upon myself. I feel more confident in my choices and I hope that confidence will grow as I do.

Third time's the charm

So this is actually the third time I've attempted to start writing every day. I'm actually going to keep with it this time. Why? Well, I've got a system. What system is that, you may ask? It's way too complicated to describe but I assure you, it's there. So in preparation for this journey, I wanted to ask myself on paper some questions:

Why are you starting this blog?

I've always wanted to write. Writing music, writing thoughts, writing ideas; these are the things that I really want to do. The problem is, I dont have that much experience writing. I mean besides the songs that I have written, the only other time I've done it is for a school assignment. I feel that writing everyday is something I should have started a long time ago. So even though it's long overdue, I think there is never a bad time to try something.

What do you want to get out of this blog?

My main goal of this blog is gain confidence in what I produce. I want to feel more confortable with my ideas and really see them through. I want to learn and understand new approaches to writing.

What are your expectations in starting this blog?

I expect this to be hard, really hard in fact. Something I can never seem to make myself do is to sit and write. The inspiration comes and goes but sporadically. I'm viewing this as essential to not only my ability to write and write well but to the essence of my wellbeing and survival as a productive human citizen.

I've got some tough terrain ahead but I hope it will be a enjoyable challenge to overcome.